2023 Conference

Lecture 1 - Continuing Education of Servants

Processes and Events
Why should I self-discipline?
How do I self-discipline to learn daily?
Education

 

Lecture 1 - High Gain Questions

Question 1

If you were a "typical" Sunday School servant in your church, what would your expectations for the continuing education program of your church be?

Discussion
Summary
From the Fathers

Question 2

As a church servant, how can you overcome the three biggest barriers to your active participation in the continuing education program of your church? What role does the church play in this process?

Discussion
Summary
From the Fathers

Lecture 2 - Technology Use

"All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any." (1 Corinthians 6:12)

In this generation, we can definitely say that we have been brought under the power of our phones.

Risks

Screen Time Recommendations
Content Concerns
Social Media
Exploitation Online
Dark Web

Technology Solutions

How the Internet Works
Router Level Features
ISP Level Controls
Ecosystem Level Controls
3rd Party Parental Control Apps
Specialized Devices

Strategies

There is no substitute for engaged parenting

Sunday School Application

Lecture 2 - Breakout Rooms

High Gain Question 1 - Red

What is the role of the Church in helping control and structure the technology use of children and youth?

  1. Partnership between priest-servant-parent
  2. Share resources among churches
  3. Find an alternative to tech use
    • Interest groups (e.g. camera team)
  4. Giving a voice to children to know they are being heard
  5. Educating parents one on one 
    • Open house before Sunday School year, talk about expectations; Geek squad at church to help setup phones
High Gain Question 2 - Green

What are the three biggest challenges parents face regarding their children's technology use? How can the church help?

  1. Lack of knowledge
    • Kids are ahead of parents/servants in technology
    • For churches that don't have resources, we may want a shareable list of contacts that have IT expertise

  2. Time
    • Lack of time
    • Parents might say "I don't have time to spend time with the kids" or "I have to take an extra shift to support the family" etc.
    • Some newcomers may not understand what work can or can't force on them
    • Church can build family activities for the families to come as a unit (as opposed to just an activity for the kids and just an activity for parents/adults)
    • New parents need to understand that the kids are a shared responsibility

  3. Misguided understanding of freedom and culture
    • Parents don't understand the culture and think they will "overstep the freedom of their kids"
    • Encourage parents not to give up
    • Parents and servants should be examples to the kids and only use phones when appropriate (e.g. cases of emergency)
High Gain Question 3 - Orange

How are the challenges of new immigrants in monitoring children's tech use unique?

Challenges

  1.  Language
    • Even when encouraging the parents to actively engage with their kids, they may be sitting with them blind

  2. Priorities
    • New immigrants' priorities are to meet the basic needs of their family (food, shelter, job)

  3. Technology use requires being proactive
    • This is difficult if you are constantly playing catch up with the basic needs of your family

  4. Lack of awareness
    • Because of the above three, they don't know what they don't know

  5. Denial
    • Your kid did xyz... "no no no my kids are good!"

  6. Peer Pressure
    • New immigrants may feel more pressure to fit into a society as opposed to someone who was born here
    • They have certain assumptions about what it's like in the West based on TV and Media

Solutions

  1. Ongoing parent meeting (potentially open to all, but catered to newcomers)

  2. Online parent corner on the diocese website where different churches can share resources that are up-to-date. Like Axis but including Arabic language resources
High Gain Question 4

Describe the three biggest challenges in monitoring/controlling the technology use of teens.

  1. Lack of knowledge of parents
    • Lack of knowledge that there is even a danger; lack of knowledge of how to protect
    • Educate the parents and equip them with how to protect your children
    • Educate them EARLY
    • Continue to educate them
    • Open Wifi in the church should also be protected
    • Things are happening every day and it's hard to keep up
  2. Engage with children
    • I want kids to have freedom to explore, but without stifling them - how do I encourage exploration within bounds?
    • What alternative am I giving the kids? If I ask them to put the device down, they will ask "what else do you want me to do?"
    • Having creativity in engagements - what creative alternatives do you have to keep them engaged physically, mentally, socially?
      • Swimming
      • Biking
      • Going to a park
      • Playing sports
    • Needs to start early
    • Leading by example - learning is a lifelong process
    • In the class, can get the kids to use technology to answer questions, research, etc.
    • Engage every moment and don't leave time for talking or phones or even breathing!
    • Boredom

  3. Youth feel that their value is in social media and technology
    • Standing in tasbeha wearing my veil won't get me any "likes" on TikTok
    • How do we introduce other things as valuable to you and edifying to you
    • We should give weight to other activities - the Eucharist is life-giving... is this TikTok video life-giving?
    • Value proposition

  4. There is no one leading by example
    • "Well so-and-so does it"
      • Can redirect to a better behavior and show that that behavior is fruitful
    • Well this older deacon is using his phone in liturgy
    • Leading by example
    • We need to speak their language and come to where they are (e.g. through games, language, etc.)

To what extent should we limit the use of phone (e.g. "you're not allowed to bring your phone on this trip, or to this outing, etc.")

High Gain Question 5 - Black

What are the key features of an "ideal" program to help educate parents of young children about how to teach their kids healthy technology use (from infancy onward)?

What does the program look like?

  1. No sermons, but rather hands-on activities for the parents
  2. Guest speakers (younger that seem to understand their kids) that are experts
  3. Reach out to parents via phone calls so they can feel that we are seeking them to connect with their kids
  4. Targeted for a specific age group (i.e. not talking about HS when parents have elementary kids)
  5. SetupIT/Geek Squad at Church
  6. Servants leading by example (especially in Sunday School... how can one give the lesson while another is on his phone? Use liturgy books and Agpeyas (old fashioned) during liturgy)

What alternatives can we teach parents to offer?

  1. Having timers for going outside together
  2. Encourage screen time to be a family interactive screen time
  3. Set a time for the kid to look up a recipe and prepare the meal for the family
  4. Turn off blue light on your phone and use "night mode" all day
  5. Use games as a time together
  6. Teach kids to have good values and morals
High Gain Question 6 - Purple

What practical steps can parents take to ensure that their children's technology use progresses gradually in a healthy way from infancy to adulthood to help them realize age-appropriate benefits of technology while protecting them from unacceptable risks?

  1. Engagement
    • Playing with your kids
    • Family time
    • Physical interaction
    • Communicating
    • Leading by example and putting down your own phone

  2. Education
    • Educate parents and kids
    • Internet is not a bad tool but we have to know how to use it in the right way
    • Follow through on education

  3. Alternatives
    • Not "because I said so"
    • VidAngel
    • Coptic Apps (Upper Room Media, CYC, etc.)
    • Putting a schedule that gives earned time
    • Church Community

Lecture 3 - Breakout Rooms

High Gain Question 1 - Red

Imagine you are a young person growing up in America whose parents were raised in Egypt. What are the three biggest challenges you would face in developing and being comfortable with your identity as an American Copt?

Challenges

  1. Peer Pressure
  2. Language as a Barrier
  3. What is Orthodox vs what is Egyptian

Solutions

  1. Establish healthy relationships with your kids
  2. Model the behavior that you want your children to have
  3. Teach that it's okay to be different; you will face persecution; and reward them when they do obey and do what they are supposed to do
High Gain Question 2 - Green

What are the three best ways to increase persistent engagement among young people in the Church?

  1. Know them; understand them - develop 1:1 relationships
  2. Engagement - get engaged with them at the same level that they are at; give them a task, responsibility or project.
  3. Help them find a purpose.
  4. Help them find their interests
High Gain Question 3 - Orange

How do the needs for relationship and and belonging among American-raised Coptic Youth differ from these needs among their Egyptian-raised parents? How are they the same?

  1. The same basic needs apply to everyone - a sense of belonging, love, acceptance
    • In Egypt, the same people at school are those at church, are those to hang out with after... in the lands of immigration, you go to school with different people than who you go to church with. 
    • It may become a matter of "who do I fit in with the most?"
    • Dual Identity Crisis: Identity at church and identity at school... leads to changing ideologies

  2. Relationships here are done more virtually (online games, snapchat, etc.) as opposed to face-to-face

  3. We have to look out for love and acceptance among everyone - even those who aren't American raised, and those who aren't Egyptian at all
High Gain Question 4 - Yellow

What are the three most important ways that the Church can help youth who move from Egypt adjust to their lives as Coptic Orthodox Christians in America

  1. Language Barrier
    • Including body language
    • Church can assist with language classes
    • We should speak to them in English and help them adjust
    • Homework help, tutoring
    • Help with job search and application

  2. Culture Shock
    • How they drive, how they deal with neighbors is very different

  3. Cliques and Groups
    • Find common interests
    • Give everyone a role or responsibility

In HE Metropolitan Youssef's book, he talks about the quadrant of "Positive/Negative Attitude to the Old/New Culture." 

High Gain Question 5 - Black

What are the three most important ways in which the Church can help young people cope with the increasing social and emotional pressures they face in today's society?

  1. Ground in the faith
    • Teaching kids from a young age how to love and be in the Church
    • Teaching how to love Christ and have a relationship with Him
    • Lead by example as a servant

  2. Safe environment in church
    • 1:1 relationship between servant and kids served (e.g. no judgment)
    • Hope that they can come with their mistakes
    • Continue to educate adults in the church on how to interact with the younger age group and the youth so they don't turn them off from coming to church
    • Kids to feel our love

  3. Helping to find their talents
    • Using talents during services
    • Give opportunities to serve to the youth
High Gain Questions 6 - Purple

As a Coptic youth in the United States what three factors would play the biggest role in pushing you away from the Coptic Church, either to other church communities or to being completely disengaged from any church group?

  1. Friendship
    • Feeling of belonging is very important; if you see the youth has a talent, let him grow in it and use it to serve in the Church
    • Servant should have a relationship that is always in touch with the youth; listening to their issues, trying to help them grow, helping identify their weaknesses and how to overcome them

  2. Education
    • You can present things in an educational manner - instead of "do this because the Bible says so" something along the lines of "God loves you and wants to protect you from this evil or this harm"
    • Present material in a way they understand it

  3. Addressing Cultural Issues
    • Address cultural issues not based on the culture, but based on scriptural principles
    • Don't be judgmental, but make a distinction between what is Egyptian, and what is Orthodox Christianity

Lecture 4 - Transplanting Servants

Introduction

Spiritual Context
Considerations

Types of Servants who may move into your Church


 Within the Diocese Outside the Diocese
Experienced

Fresh Servant (completed pre-servants)

Enthusiastic about service, but needs training

High Potential (may help fill a need, but hasn't expressed interest in service)

Experienced Servant within the SUS Diocese
Fresh Servant from within the SUS Diocese
Enthusiastic to Serve but Limited Preparation within the SUS Diocese
High Potential (no pre-servants) within SUS Diocese
Outside SUS Diocese