Virtuous Women Fellowship

• 2025-11-16: Love God & Love Others (Virtuous Women Fellowship)
• 2026-08-23: Peace (Virtuous Women Fellowship)

2025-11-16: Love God & Love Others (Virtuous Women Fellowship)

Parable of the 10 Virgins

Matthew 25:

• ¹¹ “Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, ‘Lord, Lord, open to us!’ ¹² But he answered and said, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.’
• What does it mean to be known by God?
  • "But if anyone loves God, this one is known by Him."
    

To Love God is the main goal of our Spiritual Life

Love God

• St Basil says people follow God out of fear, obedience or love. I still need to fear and obey God, but need to love Him.
  • “Who can please God? Either we please Him fearing tortures and then we are in the state of a slave; or we fulfill the commandments of God in hope of reward, for our own benefit, and therefore we are like hirelings; or we do good for the sake of good itself, and then we are in the state of a son. For, when a son reaches mature age and reason, fulfills the will of his father not because he fears punishment, and not in order to receive a reward from him, but because he cherishes a special love for him and reveres him as his father, he loves him and is convinced that all the possessions of his father belong to him also. Such a one is able to hear (Gal. 4:7), Thou art no longer a bondservant, but a son, and if a son, then an heir through God. Surely he no longer fears God, as we have said, by that initial fear, but he loves Him, as also St. Anthony said, "I no longer fear God, but I love Him."

• “But who are those who love Him? They are, so to speak, such as are like-

  minded with Him, and anxious to follow in His footsteps” - St Cyril (Commentary on Luke)

• “If the clear proof of love for Him is keeping His commands or His word, the opposite surely also would be true. The proof of refusing to love Him is to pay no attention to His command and to thrust aside what He has ordered as if it came from those who habitually do evil.” - St Cyril (Commentary on John)

• “So the person who chooses to live without love is not in God, instead

  lying outside of a relationship with God” - St Cyril (Commentary on the Twelve Prophets)

How to Love God

• Purity of Heart

  • "For the sake of the principal goal, which is purity of heart or love" - St John Cassian (Conferences)
• Repentance
  • St Ephraim “for she loved much”
• With all your soul, mind. Strength
  
  • Emotion/faith + Actions (see HHPS 10 Concepts)
• Discernment (St Peter)
  • St Peter Loved but without discernment. He didn’t know his limits.
  • St Antony quote
• Love others
  
  • "Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and great commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’" (Matthew 22)
    • If I love the Lord with all my heart, then there won't be anything left in my heart to love others with.... because my love for others is THROUGH my love for God.
  • If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen?

 How to Love Others

• ACTIVITY
  • Split into groups and each group take 1-3 of the characteristics of Love and share some examples of it in womanhood, marriage and motherhood
  • Share what the difficulty is 
  • Share one thing we can do THIS WEEK to grow in love with this characteristic
    
    
• 1 Cor 13
  • Even moving mountains without love is nothing
  • Love suffers long (patient) and is kind
    • Someone who suffers long, for the sake of loving God, he endures insults against him or bad behavior against him.
    • So if I love my kids and my young child is having a meltdown - instead of yelling, I am patient.
      
    • If I love my husband and he is working on improving in certain areas for himself and for our marriage, then I have to be patient with his growth and give him time to grow
    • If I love my friend and she is venting to me and she keeps repeating the same thing over and over again and it's long, let me be patient and give her the chance to vent
      
      
  • Love is Kind

    • Bringing a meal to someone going through illness or stress.

    • Writing a note of encouragement to someone feeling discouraged.

    • Speaking gently even when correcting someone.

    • Smiling at a stranger who looks upset or lonely.
      
      

  • Love does not envy
    • He who loves will rejoice and be glad for the growth of others (spiritual, intellectual, physical, social, emotional)
    • Jonathan loved David to the point that he said to him "You shall be  king over Israel, and I shall be next to you" (1 Samuel 23:17)

    • Celebrating another woman’s success — pregnancy, promotion, spiritual gift — without comparing.

    • Rejoicing when someone else is praised, even if you feel unnoticed.

    • Not feeling threatened when another servant is loved or talented.
      
      

  • Love does not Boast

    • Apologizing first, even if you believe you’re only partly wrong.

    • Being willing to learn from someone younger or less experienced.

    • Accepting advice without defensiveness.
      
      

  • Is Not Rude
    • Mean-spirited, insulting of others
      

    • Not interrupting during conversations.

    • Not speaking harshly or sarcastically to make a point.

    • Respecting boundaries and personal space.
      
      

  • Love does not seek its own
    • Doesn't act pushy

    • Giving someone else the preferred seat or last piece of food.

    • Supporting your spouse or friend even when it’s inconvenient.

    • Serving without expecting anything in return — not even a thank you.
      
      

  • Love is not provoked
    • Angered

    • Choosing not to take offense at small things.

    • Letting go of overreacting when children make mistakes or messes.
      
      

  • Love thinks no evil; - in other translations "Does not keep records of wrongs"
    • Doesn't keep score
    • Do I keep score of my husband or my kids? Or my friends? How many times they didn't wash the dishes, or clean their room, or put their shoes away, or didn't listen. What if they didn't listen 7 times or even 7x70 times,

    • Not bringing up past mistakes during arguments.

    • Forgiving without reminding someone of their failures.

    • Erasing the “list” of hurts rather than storing them in memory.
      
      

  • Love does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth
    • Does not rejoice when others fall into sin
    • Is joyful when righteousness prevails
    • Not enjoying gossip or bad news about someone you dislike.

    • Being happy when a person repents or changes instead of saying, “I told you so.”

    • Speaking truth lovingly even when it’s hard to say or hear.
      
      

  • Love bears all things
    • Handles the burdens of others

    • Defending someone’s reputation when others speak negatively.

    • Praying for your family’s spiritual and emotional safety.

    • Keeping confidences instead of sharing private matters.
      
      

  • Love believes all things
    • Giving someone the benefit of the doubt instead of assuming bad intention.

    • Believing in your children even when they struggle.

    • Trusts in God, no matter what
      
      
  • Love hopes all things
    • Keeps looking up, does not despair

    • Encouraging a friend who wants to give up.

    • Believing that God can restore a difficult marriage or rocky friendship or a troubled child.

    • Seeing potential in someone others have given up on.
      

  • Love endures all things
    • "puts up with everything" and doesn't wear out

    • Staying faithful in prayer for someone for years.

      • A mother who is waiting for her son to come back to the Lord, or to come back to her - she doesn’t reach a certain point and stop waiting. Or she says “I’ve waited long enough” - because she loves him. So she is patient. Even if she is suffering - she waits. She suffers long. Because she loves her son.

    • Continuing to serve even when tired or unappreciated.

    • Holding on through sickness, financial hardship, or spiritual dryness.
      

  • Love never fails
    • Will never be destroyed
      
    • Lasts forever
      
      
• Discussion: 
  • Which of these is the hardest one to practice

2026-08-23: Peace (Virtuous Women Fellowship)

Peace

Peace was given to the disciples by the Lord Jesus: “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.“ (John 14:27)

Peace is one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.“ (Galatians 5:22)

Peace was accepted by the Jews as their official greeting: “Shalom”

Peace was the commandment the Lord gave to the disciples in their ministry: “But whatever house you enter, first say, ‘Peace to this house.’“ (Luke 10:5)

Peace was the greeting of the Lord Jesus after His Resurrection: “Peace be with you”

Peace is the greeting of the Church: “Peace be with you all” (Irini Pasi)

The Lord Christ is called the King of Peace

What is this peace? How do we acquire this peace?

We can think of peace as being in three directions:

1. Peace with God
2. Peace with Others
3. Inner Peace

We pray for this peace in every liturgy:

1. Inner Peace: “The heavenly peace, send down into all our hearts, even the peace of this life graciously grant to us.”
2. Peace with Others: “The leaders, the armies, he rulers, the counselors, the multitudes, our neighbors, our coming in and our going out, adorn them with all peace.”
3. Peace with God: “O King of Peace, grant us Your peace, for You have given us all things. Acquire us to Yourself, O God our Savior, for we know none other but You. Your holy name we utter. May our souls live by Your Holy Spirit and let not the death of sin have dominion over us, we Your servants, nor over all Your people.”

Peace with God

“Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ“ (Romans 5:1)

This is not a “feeling” of peace, but is a restored relationship with God. Christ took care of this on the Cross and reconciled us with Him. But I will not experience this peace with God unless I live the life of repentance and confession. This is peace in knowing that death does not have dominion over me.

• 'When I realize my many wicked deeds, and the thought of that awesome judgment comes to my heart, a tremble takes hold of me, and I take refuge in You, O God, the Lover of Mankind.," (Midnight Hour - Third Watch #3)

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.“ (1 John 1:9)

Peace with Others

“Blessed are the peacemakers, For they shall be called sons of God.“ (Matthew 5:9)

Reconciliation Prayer is the beginning of the Liturgy because it is a reminder that if I don’t have peace with my brother, I cannot bring my gift to the altar.

• Peacemaker does not mean I agree with everything everyone says
  • ”I don’t want problems” is a peacekeeper, not a peacemaker
  • Peacekeeper is one who avoids conflict
  • Peacemaker knows how to handle conflict appropriately
  • “But if anyone seems to be contentious, we have no such custom, nor do the churches of God.” (1 Corinthians‬ ‭11‬:‭16‬)
• Pride: Enemy of Peace
  • I want to be right
  • I want to come out on top
  • I want revenge because I am OWED it
• Being a Peacemaker is only one side
• “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” (Romans 12:18)
• If it is possible, as much as depends on you
  • Not everyone will accept your peace, but let me do my part
• Psalm 119 pg 109
• Peacemaker puts the situation in God’s hands
  • “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.” (Luke 6:27-28)
• Forgiveness is the most practical tool for peacemaking
• Examples
  • Sister/Cousin/Mother-in-Law/Friend/Mom/Daughter says something hurtful
    • Recognize that she is speaking in heightened emotions - she doesn’t mean what she says
    • Recognize that I have done that before too!
    • Examine my own deficiency - what was she responding to? Did I say something wrong
    • Forgive
    • Pray on behalf of the relationship and the other person
  • Friend comes and says “Did you hear about folan?” 
    • See that this conversation will lead me to sin in gossip, it can hurt the person who is not here, it can hurt the person I am talking to, it can hurt their relationship
    • Knowing my own deficiency and my weakness with gossipping, I will choose to opt out of the conversation
    • I can say “I would rather not talk about someone who is not here”
  • My kids are fighting with each other
    • ”Who started it?”
    • ”Stop. Tell me what happened. What could you have done differently?”
    • Always remember your children in your prayers, and also ask God for wisdom in raising them and teaching them how to deal with conflicts
  • Argument with husband
    • ”Fine, do whatever you want.” (I convince myself this is me keeping peace… but I am still angry inside).
    • Peacemaker: I’m upset right now, I don’t want to say something wrong, let’s take time and talk about it when we’re calmer.
    • GOOD: Walking away to calm down
    • BAD: Walking away to punish someone, to end it, to say “do whatever you want” or “ana maleesh da3wa”
    • Always remember your husband and your marriage in your prayers

Inner Peace

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬-‭7‬)

Worry & Anxiety: Lacking Peace with something impending

• Healthy Anxiety: response to an impending challenge; healthy because it is what pushes us to tackle the challenge with wisdom. E.g. I am worried I won’t have time to finish my tasks around the house because of my work schedule and my kids’ schedule... So I work to make a schedule and a plan for time management so that I can complete all of my responsibilities.
  
• Unhealthy Anxiety: An unhealthy response to an impending challenge; unhealthy because I am focused more on my Anxiety than on tackling the challenge.
• The problem is not when I care - the problem is when I am PARALYZED.
• I can distinguish between worry and anxiety based on my response to them.
  • If my response is productive, then it’s a healthy worry. If my response is unproductive, then it’s an unhealthy anxiety.
  • If tomorrow I have an exam, and I have absolutely no worry - then what will motivate me to study?
  • As long as the worry is functional (not dysfunctional) and it motivates me to do things, then I am within the boundaries
    
• Examples
  • Children
    • My child is struggling in school - what if they fall behind? What if they don’t make friends? What if I’m not doing enough as a mother??
    • Unhealthy Response: I spend the entire night imagining everything that can go wrong, comparing my child to other children, becoming overwhelmed
    • Peaceful Response: I identify what I can actually do - talk to the teacher, help my child, establish a routine, pray and put the problem in God’s hand
  • Marriage
    • My husband and I are not communicating very well
    • Unhealthy Response: Replay the conversation in my head all day, assume the worst, become resentful, give the silent treatment (I may even justify this as peace), try to find the problems with what he is doing, figure out how to make myself come out on top
    • Peaceful Response: “I need to address this” - examine my own behavior, pray for him, choose a good time to talk and work towards reconciliation
  • Finances
    • We have bills coming up, a little worried about making ends meat
    • Unhealthy Response: Constantly checking the bank account, imagining the financial disaster, losing sleep, unable to enjoy the blessings God has given
      
    • Peaceful Response: Look at the budget, reduce unnecessary expenses, make a plan, see what resources are available to help, pray and entrust in God’s hand.
  • Health
    • I notice something unusual about my body or my health
    • Unhealthy Response: ChatGPT, Endless online searches, worst case scenario, imagining every possible disease, repeatedly checking symptoms, consumed by fear
    • Peaceful Response: Make an appointment, get the right information, follow the doctor’s advice, pray
  • Other People’s Opinion
    • I am worried about what other people think of me… I keep replaying conversations, I am ascribing intention to every action - “she didn’t invite me” - “she thinks I’m a bad mother” - “I said the wrong thing”
    • Here there’s not even a good response - sometimes the worry just gives us questions, but no answers

Did you notice that in each of the examples, one of the peaceful responses was to pray? Because PEACE is a spiritual endeavor. This is the advice St Paul gave us when he said: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬-‭7‬)