Cultivating a Leader From Childhood - Dr Anton Daoud

Identifying Leaders from Childhood

When you see a group of children playing together, there's typically one who knows how to gather them, move them, reconcile them, etc. This is the manifestation of a seed of leadership. As parents, servants, etc. it is our job to cultivate this seed in the right way.

Some examples of young leaders:

- St Athanasius
  - 27 Years Old when he refuted Arius
  - In Comparison: 27 is someone who just finished college 3-6 years ago
  - Behind this speech is empowerment, accustomed to speaking, accustomed to speak his opinion, accustomed to being heard - without this, no one would be able to speak in a situation like Nicaea
- Origen
  - 18 Years Old when he became Dean of the School of Alexandria
  - In Comparison: 18 Years Old is a high schooler (the ones who we argue with about attending class or not attending... Origen was the Dean!)
  - He was in charge of teaching and graduating several patriarchs
  - Of course it's not that he was 17 1/2 and they realized he had this talent... it was a life of cultivation
- St George
  - 20 Years Old when he was a captain in the Roman Army
- Joseph the Righteous
  - Around 17 years old when thrown in the pit
  - Manifested as a leader, as a good manager and organizer, as good at languages, etc. in Egypt
  - This was cultivated by his days living at home with Jacob
- King David
  - Anointed by Samuel around 15 years old
  - Fought Goliath around 17 or 18 years old

It's clear that in the old days, people were discovering talents (both in and outside the church) of the youth and were preparing them to be leaders

How to Identify Leaders from Childhood

You must have the spirit of "I want the one after me to be better than me"
- If I'm in an orchestra, I will never compare my Piano playing to the one playing the drums or guitars... we complete each other
- In every child and youth that I come across, when I see that he has a talent (despite his problems, behavior, etc.) - I think to myself "in 6 or 7 years he will take my place and will do a better job than me!"
See the things that make them different
- We used to think that if someone would stand up a lot, or wouldn't sit still, or wants to fiddle or play with a toy or something... that these are behavioral issues.
- Most education systems in the world now recognize that these are simply different traits of learning, or ways of learning, methods of focusing, etc.
- Identify these behaviors and instead of shooting them down, encourage them
Cultivate THEIR Potential
- Don't think that the one you are raising or cultivating will come out like YOU - everyone is different!
- Everyone has THEIR OWN potential - we want to cultivate THEIR potential, not make them like US
- We might find someone who is ahead of the rest and might think of him as a "nerd" - and sometimes this may affect him negatively. Rather, let their talent come out! Just because all the kids are the same age, it doesn't mean they'll all be at the same level. Someone might have talents to help or learn at a higher age level (even to skip to another grade!)
- This is similar to how Scouting systems work, since they are not based on age, they are based on talent

Growing Leaders

The Framework of the Church
- The methods of growth must be consistent with the Holy Scriptures and the Church Traditions and Teachings
- This is the foundation and the framework within which to work
- Any leader will be creative, innovative, come up with new ideas, etc... these must be within the framework of the Church
- The Church must give them the knowledge of the Holy Scriptures in a very practical way, so that when he is a leader and uses his mind and creativity to make improvements, he does not deviate from the Dogma and Traditions of the Church
- Origen, to take responsibility of the School of Alexandria, must have had a firm faith and a good understanding of the faith
Be Watchful to Be Fruitful
- To grow a good tree, you must know exactly how much water it expects, when to be watered, what kind of soil, how much sunlight it needs, etc.
- The one we are cultivating, we need to be watchful of them, learn about them, and take good care of them
Spend Time
- To raise a leader, it requires spending a lot of time with them
- 1-2 hours a week is not enough
- The Lord Jesus Christ would usually go with His disciples and sit with them and talk and open different conversations, etc.
- The monastics focus on a life of discipleship and it's not just a matter of going to hear a spiritual word and then going back to their own cell, but they would sit at the feet of their teacher, sit in a cell together for long periods of time
- Cultivation takes time
Trust Them
- Give them space to make mistakes
- Let them make the wrong decisions in order to sit with them and discuss a better decision
- Make sure they aren't AFRAID to make mistakes
- The idea of "failure" needs to be transformed into a more positive idea
  - You didn't fail, you succeeded 30% of the way!
  - And the Lord accepted 30% - "But these are the ones sown on good ground, those who hear the word, accept it, and bear fruit: some thirtyfold, some sixty, and some a hundred.” (Mark 4:20)
Delegation
- Give them responsibility
- Open the opportunity for more responsibility
- While giving him responsibilities and opportunities, I should also be teaching him
- The abundance of love sometimes PREVENTS them from making mistakes and growing and learning
  - As a parent sometimes when my kids make a mistake, I get upset - and they might be afraid of making mistakes in the future... it is the abundance of my love, but it works counter to my goal
Feedback
- Listen to what happened, and give feedback (not too harsh)
- Accustom them to requesting feedback and accepting criticism
  - What do you think of what I did?
  - What three things can I improve on next time?
  - What did I do best? What do I need to learn from
- When giving feedback...
  - If you focus only on the positives, you may miss an important message
  - If you focus only on the negatives, you may push him away (and he may do worse)
- To hear feedback and criticism (positive and negative) after doing something is natural
- St Paul in 1 Corinthians 1 starts by "I thank God always concerning you..." and very nice feedback and then immediately follows with "I plead with you brethren that..." you correct this and this and that
- Giving negative criticism is not related to lack of love - but rather it might even be a display love
Teach Them How to Use Authority
- If someone is given authority, but not taught how to use it correctly, he will not use it correctly
- How to use authority?
- How to be accountable for himself?
- "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant." (Matthew 20:25-26)
- Teach them in a very practical way
  - One of these days you will be responsible for 10 or 20... keep watch over them, take care of them, don't be a bother to them, you'll have to make sure not to offend them, you will be responsible for their soul
- Teach them from a young age
  - This is the kind of thing that you can't leave for them to make a mistake and learn from
  - This is the kind of thing that you can't leave for them to get older and find out
  - It requires training
  - St George was a captain at 20 years old - it's highly unlikely that they decided to teach him these things when he was 19 and a half! He must have had 6-7 years of training for how to deal with subordinates, etc.
Be Open and Straightforward
- Some may disagree with this point, but times are different now than before the internet
  - It used to be that we could hide things at a young age and when they get older they'll learn it
  - Unfortunately, secular education is heading away from leaving some things undiscussed
  - In addition, now, with the internet and the global access to information, it is nearly impossible
- Why?
  - We want them to hear information from us before hearing it (distorted or corrupted) from the world
  - So that he can discern the world and all that is in it - good days and bad days, good people and bad people, etc.
- Examples
  - In the world you will have good days and bad days - on the good days we'll be happy and rejoice; on the bad days, we'll get through them! (We won't be sad! But we'll get through them to the next good day)
  - Servant makes a mistake
    - I might worry about disturbing the image of the servant in front of them... it will already be disturbed
    - But to remedy it, I should recognize my mistake, admit that I am growing too. This will also teach them to do the same
Teach them Humility
- One of the things that one learns from a young age - we can't take a risk with it
- It's not as simple as telling him "You must be humble!"
- It is a discipline and a way of life
- Teach them to differentiate between humility and low self-esteem
- Teach them when to take credit for something and when not to
  - For example, in a work environment - it's not appropriate to speak as "we accomplished xyz" if it was truly an individual effort
  - Saying "I accomplished xyz" in some environments is necessary - you can add "by God's grace" or "thank God" or something as you recognize that it is with God's grace
  - Humility does not mean removing "I" pronoun from your dictionary
- Some Phrases to Remove from their dictionary (and your own)
  - "I can do it better than you"
  - "I tried and failed"
  - "I'm bad [or any negative adjective] and I can't do it"
Everyone is Different
- Before we discover them, they need to discover their own talents
- It's not easy to discover your talents... some people spend their whole lives trying to figure it out
- [Unfortunately, the video transitions here and they removed the part where he discussed this point. They only left a small part where he discusses how the Educational System plays a role in taking up all the time of our youth and leaving them no time to find themselves]

What do we need to do with those we are serving?

Engage them in Sports and Activities
- Teamwork
- Winning and Losing
  - How to win and be happy
  - How to lose and be sad and cry and feel the "tribulation" of it
- Practice Makes Perfect
  - It's a Cycle
  - Lose, Sad, Practice, Lose, Sad, Practice, etc. eventually Win
- Teaching Opportunity
  - Would you like some feedback?
  - Want to know how you can improve?
Use Emotional Intelligence in Dealing with Them
- Discussions of feelings
- Can't wait until someone is feeling it to discuss it
  - i.e. when someone is sad, this is the worst time to discuss sadness because they won't be focused with you; or they would say "he's just saying it to make me feel better"
  - Subconsciously, your talking becomes "cliché"
Encourage Success
- Remove some phrases from our dictionary
  - "I know you're gonna fail"
  - "Just try and you'll see"
- Replace them with more positive
  - "I think you're about 50% ready for this - you need to be more ready"
Teach Them About Money and Finances
- Like emotional intelligence, this conversation can't wait until they have a financial problem, or come into money, or something like that
  - Example:
    - Kid says: "I want this toy"
    - Parent replies: "I don't have money"
    - Kid asks: "Why don't you have money?"
    - At this point, the kid is focused on the toy and any information or teaching about finances will be ignored - subconsciously, it might be taken as "it's an excuse not to get me this toy" or it might just be ignored because of distraction
  - Alternatively: Come one day and say "I'm going to talk to you about money today... where does it come from and where does it go, etc."
- We don't know how each person will deal with a financial situation
- Teach them how to deal with money

[At this point, he started to run out of time]

Organize Trips for Them
- Doesn't have to be far or long or a big situation
- Could be as simple as walking to the store and back
- The experience of a trip is enough
Be Patient and Teach them Patience
- Patience and time and the value of time need to be taught
Leave Space for Innovation
- Usually rebellious (i.e. you want to go left around the building, I want to go right... they both lead to the same way)
- We are waiting for a leader to lead... he will have a vision and will have a way of achieving that vision
Teach them the Art of "Letting it Go"
Leading by Example
- Anything we want to tell them, we must be doing it ourselves first