40 Days Log

Day -2 - 9/26 - Deacon Ordination

Today I received the grace of the Sacrament of Priesthood in the Diaconate. All of the people were very happy and wanted to take pictures - HG Bishop Basil told me “this is part of their joy.” And encouraged me to take as many pictures as I could with them, and to receive them all. I didn’t eat in the Aghapy Hall, but it was more than worth it.

Later went to IKEA as a full deacon, dressed in black. I got a lot of stares, people who look up and down, people who look until you make eye contact and then look away quickly. Abouna Matthew says “yeah that’s normal it’s funny lol”

I think the important thing when being in public is to wear a smile with my cassock. Soften the “intimidating” part with a smile. Open the door for them to ask questions. Preach the gospel in this way.

At night it was Sunday School - the kids were so excited. Some were confused, some were there in the morning and understood. Some of the girls in G4-5 were chanting and it was sooo cute. Tried to explain to all of them that my name is “Pason Morcous” or “Deacon Morcous” and I’m not Abouna yet.

Day -1 - 9/27 - Feast of the Cross

Day 0 - 9/28 - Ordination Day

Today I received the grace of the Sacrament of Priesthood in the Presbyterate.

E Aghapy was ridiculous

The deacons were phenomenal and I am so proud of them. The entire men’s section was full with deacons. It was unbelievable. People from everywhere

Groups from Daytona

Groups from Tampa Bay

Groups from South Florida

Groups from Nashville

Groups from Tallahassee

Family group from New York

Family group from New Jersey

What love the Lord has placed in their hearts to come and attend the ordination and to spend time and money and energy.

And then the congregation of St Rebekah - nothing beats sharing in their joy.

Fr Theophilos’ advice for the Monastery: This is your honeymoon. This is a spiritual time. Spend it with the Lord. Any problems, any concerns, any issues, throw it at the altar. Attach yourself to the altar.

Fr Tadrus Hirmina:

1 - Read a lot. Read about spiritual and read about administrative. Many priests have failed because they were very spiritual and had no administrative. Many because they were administrative and lacked the spiritual. Let this be a period of spiritual preparation. Don’t waste time in the 40 days trying to contribute to the service in your church. If someone calls you with a problem, excuse yourself and say “I’m sorry I don’t have any time in the monastery, let’s sit down and talk when I get back.”

2 - Make a plan. What service do you want to start? What school of thought do you want to instill in people? What service do you want to grow? Make a plan. Diagram it. Write it down. So when you leave the monastery, you know exactly what to do next.

Day 1 - 9/29 - Arriving at the Monastery

On my way to the monastery. Almost didn’t wake up in the morning. Thank God

Ride to the monastery with Mr Mario and Fr Philoxenus. Spent some time with Fr Philoxenus at WalMart. We talked about how whenever man tries to add or remove something from nature, it makes it worse. Water by itself is good - but if you add sugar, caffeine, even carbonation, it loses some benefits (or even becomes harmful). Fruit is good - but make it into jam and add sugar and preservatives, and you lose some of the benefit. What God has given us is what is best.

Arrived at the monastery very tired slept and missed my first lesson with Fr Pachomius.

Attended a Theology lesson with Fr Daniel Ava Moses and Fr Kyrillos. St Cyril has two formulas:

- “One Nature of the Incarnate God, the Logos”

- “Two Natures in Thought Alone”

At Chalcedon they affirmed two natures (without “in thought alone”) and in the next council (5th “ecumenical”) they realized their error and added “in thought alone.” But this partially explains how Chalcedonians can believe two natures and still keep Cyril as a saint and father.

“Mono” refers to one homogenous

“Mia” refers to one compound

Fr Matthew arrived tonight and we spent time together with Fr Kyrillos, Fr Reweis Ava Moses, Fr Palladius, Fr Tawadrous, Fr Isizorus, Fr Pachomius.

Day 2 - 9/30 - First Lesson

Today I woke up late… Prayers were 4am and I arrived at 4:40am. Should not be staying up so late at night. I will aim for a 8pm or 9pm bedtime going forward to maximize my time in the monastery.

We prayed the Tasbeha and Liturgy with HG Bishop Danial of the Red Sea and HG Bishop Peter of NC, SC, KY. I prayed the Litany of the Sick in Matins - although I don’t know that I “prayed it” as opposed to “I said it.” It was my first time. And I held the censer and I even said ϣⲗⲏⲗ and ⲓⲣⲏⲛⲏ ⲡⲁⲥⲓ. Then I said the last part of the commemoration.

I read Romans 1

I took some rest after the liturgy

Ate lunch with Fr Matthew, Fr Kyrillos, Fr Pachomius Ava Moses and Fr Daniel Ava Moses. I couldn’t attend the Theology lesson with Fr Daniel because I had my first lesson with Fr Pachomius. We did two lessons in one and covered Raising of Incense until the end of the Major Circuit of Incense. I have a lot to memorize and a lot to practice.

Evening prayers with HGB Daniel, HGB Peter and the fathers and brothers.

I took a walk for about an hour and read On the Priesthood. Introductory chapters and then the chapter about Pastoral Care and the one about Love. Need to re-read the one about pastoral care - if a surgeon doesn’t make an incision deep enough in the patient who needs it, then he will have mutilated him without any benefit. And if he makes an incision too deep in a patient who doesn’t need it, then he will drive him away and make him reject the medicine. Pastoral Care is about giving the patient what they need without being too harsh or too lenient.

Spent time in the evening during/after dinner with Fr Matthew, Fr Kyrillos, Fr Reweis, Fr Palladius, Fr Tawadros, Brother Hosea. Left them early so I can sleep and make it in time for prayer tomorrow.

Day 3 - 10/01

Day 4 - 10/02

Day 5 - 10/03

Day 6 - 10/04

HG Bishop Danial pulled me aside after the liturgy and asked about me (where I am from, where will I serve, etc.) He complimented my Tasleem of the liturgy and encouraged me to try and read the whole of the Scriptures during my 40 Days. I decided to try.

That evening, Fr Macarius came to eat shrimp with me in the cafeteria. He mentioned that he likes crab legs, so I jokingly told Br Moussa that we need to make some crab legs for Fr Macarius. Fr Macarius said “you want crab legs, I’ll get you crab legs. St Moses always provides.”

Read Genesis, Psalms 1-10, Proverbs 1-3.

Day 7 - 10/05 - Gregorian Tasleem Liturgy

Prayed liturgy in St Mary with Fr Isizorus and Fr Sarabamon today. Full Gregorian until the Institution Narrative. I prayed the Anaphora and later prayed ⲁⲕⲓ̀ ⲡ̀ϧⲟⲗϧⲉⲗ in full tune (English). Also Basilian Commemoration. The Liturgy was too long, but it was Sunday and the Monastery was closed so it wasn’t a huge deal. Fr Isizorus recorded it.

After liturgy,

Read Exodus, Psalms 11-15, Proverbs 4-6.

Day 8 - 10/06 - Fr Simon Visit

Today Fr Simon

Read Leviticus, Psalms 16-20, Proverbs 7-10.

Day 9 - 10/07 - St John Kame

Read half of Numbers. Did not finish my canon.

Day 10 - 10/08 - Call from My Bishop

Read Psalms 21-25, Proverbs 11-13.

HG Bishop Basil called me from Romania. He encouraged me to write daily while in my 40 days. He said I can’t go back on Thursday to the world, and I’ll have to go on Friday (or else have the reception Thursday). He said “most priests take their first confession in the 40 days.” I thought - that’s unlikely.

We talked about how nice it is to be in an Orthodox Country (Romania). Taxi Drivers with crosses and saints, restaurant owners with icons, strangers asking for your blessing, etc. I shared with him my experience with my neighbor (see Day -1).

Today Fr Boutros came with his HS Boys and Girls group (with Ehab and Roushi). Very nice to see him.

Read part of Numbers. Psalms 26-30, Proverbs 14-16. Did not finish my canon.

Day 11 - 10/09 - First Confession

After tasbeha, a youth who I had been growing closer to, asked to make a confession before liturgy. I advised him and prayed the absolution over his head and blew over his head. I encouraged him to follow up with his regular father of confession. He said he wants to change father of confession and I told him to take permission from the first father.

Read Psalms 31-35, Proverbs 17-20.

Day 12 - 10/10 - Contemplations of a Monk

I had run into Fr Appolytus two days ago (10/8) and rode with him in the car for about 2 minutes before receiving the phone call from HG Bishop Basil. I took the call but lost the opportunity to talk with Fr Appolytus. I ran into him that night and then received a call from Lisa… so missed the chance again. But he told me he wanted to follow up with me because of a contemplation he had. Today I finally ran into him again.

I had asked him last time “How are you doing?” - and he meditated on it… Usually we answer with how we’re feeling. But the question isn’t “How are you feeling?” - but “DOING.” Even in Arabic 3amel eh… am I doing good? Or am I just feeling good? I might be doing bad and feeling good… but I need to be doing good. We talked about many other things and how the devil fights us.

He asked who my favorite of the fathers is - St John Chrysostom because he is so pastoral. He takes the word of scripture and relates it back to what I should be doing. I also love his tangents (some people hate them). He’s like HGB Raphael - HG last year did two series: “Journey through the Liturgy of St Gregory” and “A Sacrifice of Praise.” The Journey through St Gregory Liturgy started with “Who is St Gregory” and then mentioned Origen and had an entire lecture about who Origen is, etc. eventually coming back to the main point. But by the time the Great Fast had ended, HG had barely talked about the actual liturgy! But the tangents were worth it. Same with a Sacrifice of Praise - it’s supposed to be about tasbeha but he spent the whole time discussing the Old Testament. Worth it.

Fr Appolytus told me that his name is Hippolytus! Awesome name! He told me a bit about St Hippolytus (and how he’s not commemorated as a pope in the Catholic Church because he is rejected).

Vespers with Fr George and two brothers. Prayed the Litany of the Gospel in Coptic.

In the evening, I walked with Fr Boutros for about two hours. We talked about everything in the service - service times, gymnasiums, etc. He encouraged me to keep a log of all the liturgies I ever prayed as a priest.

Day 13 - 10/11 - The Good and Faithful Servant

The highlight of the day today was a discussion with Brother Steven & Brother Abanoub about whether or not church trips should be limited/restricted (based on behavior, past experiences, perceived readiness, etc.).

We then watched the movie “It happened that night” (based on a story written by HH Pope Shenouda III in “Release of the Spirit.”)

https://youtu.be/SZqmClqlLX8?si=fV1L9QR0YZXEmo9Y