We have to be able to differentiate between these groups and where every single person fits
Then we have to know which Boundaries to set
This decision is influenced by:
The Scripture (e.g. the Books of Wisdom, Proverbs, and Sirach)
Our Orthodox Faith
Lived experience
Guidance from parents, servants, priest
Within each of these circles of trust, there are even subcategories and different boundaries with different people
I cannot have the same boundaries with my male friends as with my female friends
I cannot have the same boundaries with my brother as with my sister
Boundaries with Friends
There is a difference between how I act, talk, etc. with my male friends than with my female friends
Boundaries in Touch
It is okay to play rough with your male friends
It is not okay to play rough with a female friend
It is okay to greet your male friend when you see him with a "pound hug" (dap + embrace)
A playful touch with a male friend is okay... with a female friend is not okay
It is not okay to greet your female friend with a hug
Your anatomy is different from her anatomy
There are parts of your body that are only available to the center circle - to yourself
The same goes for your friends' bodies
Boundaries in Speech and Messaging
It is not okay to talk about puberty or sex with a female friend
It is not okay to comment on a girl's looks or her body - positively or negatively
It is not okay to comment on a girl's clothing or makeup - positively or negatively
It is not okay to use sexual language or discuss sexual acts with anyone - male or female
It's not okay to "ship" people
Boundaries in Time
It is not okay to be one-on-one with a girl at any time
It is okay to go out with a group of your male and female friends (with parental approval)
It's not okay to text a girl one-on-one for long periods of time, or after certain times of day (e.g. 9pm)
It's not okay to have group chats without a specific purpose that contain both males and females
Setting, Maintaining, Enforcing Boundaries
Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out. Setting boundaries inevitably involves taking responsibility for your choices.
Remove yourself from situations that cross the line
Address Conflicts head-on with kindness
If someone tries to get you to cross a boundary, address it
